Are you independent of other people’s opinions or you seek approval all the time? When you do something, do you catch yourself pondering about what others might think of it or how others might react to it? If you do, you are probably the person who always parks his or her car carefully not to disturb other drivers or block the way and get stunned by the fact that always the most wrongly parked cars are the most expensive ones. It’s like only assholes would be able to afford the nice cars, every nice car would have an asshole driver or having a car like that would make you be one. It doesn’t matter which the case is, but if an ignorant parking or driving will take place it will almost all the time be with an expensive car. Why is that? What is the correlation between being rude and having money to buy an expensive car and being nice and being the proud owner of a bicycle? Because certainly there is one. It is not a question of “if” it is a question of “why”? In everyday life, it is obvious that the richer somebody is, ruder he or she is. Less it cares about others. The more you care, the less financially successful you are. And before anyone says, that it is not true, because there are X and Y who is rich and nice, for example, Princess Diana or some other almost fiction-like fairy tail figure, I do say, that almost nobody even knew her. So, assuming that what a public figure does is how actually a public figure is, is just pure naivety.
Public figures always seem to do good stuff, like helping sick children in Africa, hound dogs, abandoned cats and so on. But it is also true that nobody from the whole world, except a very few near them really know them. You see the pictures in a magazine or a documentary or whatever and you “assume” that they are what you see: nice people. But you can never in your life experience that yourself. So, there is actually no way of knowing and most probably they are not, because all the richer people I know, they are truly people who don’t give a shit about not parking on the places kept for people with disabilities or cutting your way, not according priority or your feelings whatsoever.
When I was little I was raised being all the time punished for “not caring” what this or that old lady thought about my certain actions and behavior: “what will they say?”-they told me. Me, as a child, had difficulties to comprehend why other people’s opinion about me would matter that much and why on Earth should I care about it. But repetition is the mother of all knowledge. So I learned. I learned that I should care. Unfortunately, I did. So as a result in my teenage years, I got very frustrated about “what others think”. Too frustrated. This frustration continued through my adult life: caring too much what others would say about you. Cause what if they say something wrong? Something negative? Then what?
Well, nothing. Opinions are the cheapest and most easy to get commodities in the world. No matter level of education, accomplishment, character, value. Every dumb person has an opinion. Even, the dumber they are the stronger their beliefs are. An open-minded clever person with high intelligence can change their view if the argument against stands on solid ground. But you can never convince a dumb person of them being wrong in something they believe it is true. So you might as well ignore it altogether.
The best example why there is total nonsense caring about other people's opinions I heard from a guy named Leo on youtube. He referred to all those great painters through history who although faced harsh criticism from their peers, they continued to create their art, they never stopped doing what they felt deep inside that it was right. Postmortem they were pronounced greatest artists, their works sold for millions. Sadly this all happened only after their death, so the poor fellows could never benefit from it, but the fact remains, that their vision, although criticized was the right one. Their opinion was a far better one than the opinion of many many others. This even contradicts the fact that you should listen if a lot of people keep telling you their same negative comments, cause it “might be something in it”. It might be right. No. actually it might be very wrong. You are a lion and you should not really be considered about the opinion of sheep.
This might seem to contradict the affirmation, that the dumber people are, the stronger their opinion is, I have mentioned earlier. You might ask yourself, aren’t then I, the one who has a very fix view and I am not changing anything due to negative opinions, aren’t then I the one who is being dumb?
The answer is definitely no. Because what we are talking about here is “opinion”. Should you change or adapt your actions in order to fit in other people’s narrow view? No. Should you change or adapt your actions if you find that there is a ground base, sound argument based on facts to do so? Yes. Yes, you should because you will recognize that you will benefit from it. But here is a huge difference between proven facts and opinions. I don’t like you – is an opinion. And you should not give a shit about it. If I say instead, I find that I would like your looks better if you would cut a bang because your forehead is too huge and it is messing up the symmetry of your face due to which you don’t look as good as you could. Well, you might look in the mirror and find out that hour forehead is really damn big, try a wig and see that you look better with bangs, you might cut some good looking bangs and look much better afterward. In this case, you found out that the observation is based on reality you can adapt. If you would try on a wig with bangs and find out that it is not true, your forehead is not big and you look actually worse you must not adapt. Your intelligence lies in the fact that you consider adapting when faced with facts that prove to be right and you should decide not to adapt when faced with empty opinions which have no solid ground just pure subjectivity. Nuance is the key here.
Even if people say you look good, it might not be true. It might be false praise because they want to get something from you. If you are looking the mirror and judge with your open mind otherwise on that certain day, based on facts – you didn’t comb your hair, your shoe is dirty or I don’t know what, it must not matter what others say: you might not look that awesome on that particular day. Should this bother you? Of course not. It is just a fair judgment you can make if you really want it to.
But as the car example so eloquently shows, being bothered by other people's opinions does not help your financial success. Why? Because you are following dumb opinions and not following yours. Most of the opinions are not based on any kind of reality just reflecting the person's own feelings, own frustrations. It has less to do with you than what you might expect. Rarely are opinions sound. Those ones, if backed up with true facts rather than “I don’t know why I just don’t like it” bullshit, should only be taken into consideration. Anything else must be thrown in the wastebasket because that is exactly where they belong and even more, it is most probably keeping you from achieving much more than you are right now.