How to kill anxiety?
Anxiety, stress is the necessary bad that kept us alive throughout the centuries. Without it, we would not even have the chance to complain about it nowadays. That’s all great... Although we appreciate this blessing from mother nature in our modern society the fight and flight mechanism just ain’t what it used to be, like life saver or something, it is more like an unnecessary burden that doesn’t want to let us be free and happy.
And nowadays just about everything can cause stress and anxiety. Well, of course, they do. That’s kind of their job. Imagine that all that “stuff” in the world simply exists to make you anxious. That is their sole purpose. “Things” and “stuff” that keep happening are like moths. Why on earth do moths exist at all? Apparently to destroy your few hundred euro worth woolen coat. Although I am almost certain that they have some purpose like the combs of the chicken, the appendix or armpit hair. There is surely something. At least it was a long time ago when we were still living in caves, but today… well, today they are like moths. You just simply don’t see the point. It is also true that under pressure we fail more, we make mistakes more and our overall performance is worse than if we were in a calm state of mind.
Our society is rather complex in comparison with the cavemen society. All the choices are not actually just two: or you run away or you fight the beast or you play dead and hope that the beast is not just stupid but blind and deaf too.
If you have a presentation to make you can’t play dead. You can’t run away from town and never come back. Also if you are angry with your boss, it is not a solution to attack him every time he passes by your desk. Or maybe it is? Jump on him and kill that bastard! After a few hours (or days) of deliberation, we might come to the conclusion that spending jail time is just not worth it. Especially for this cause. However, we must admit that we are usually not harming people for the sole reason that we don’t specifically want to be detained. Like empathy or love or any other science, fiction stuff doesn’t really play that much of a role. By, the way, harming would liberate some tension… but we could have remorse later and that could cause anxiety again...So it is like a vicious circle. Whatever you do, you can end up being freaked out big time. Losing game or battle that can be won?
Before we freak out more one thing must be clear. What nature created for you to have and enjoy, like your leg hair, will just like hair, well... grow. Cause it is natural for him to do so. But, just as hair, after being struck first with anxiety, it can be reduced with time and with patience. Looot of patience. A key factor for that is not freaking out that you freak out. I am sure that makes a lot of sense...
Being stressed out that you are anxious only increases the level of your anxiety. And there is no need for that. I suppose… But what about actually killing anxiety? Well, you can, but killing something means that the certain thing must exist first. And you also have the problem with anxiety at the moment it installs in. and you don’t really think of it when you are calm and happy. Thank God for that, cause getting stressed out of the near fact that you in the future could get stressed would make us all crazy and totally incapable to savor life. Getting anxious is natural and it will occur naturally. Period. Have to deal with that.
After experiencing anxiety one might use breathing techniques, but not 3 times. More like 5 minutes. Why not 3 times? Cause it is just too short. One must control his own breath for a longer period of time to have the result of actually calming our nervous system. Most popular I believe is the 4-7-8 second technique, namely to inhale while counting to 4, then holding your breath counting to 7 and exhaling counting to 8. Forcing yourself to focus on your breath and count and again will need your attention, because it is not just physical but also a psychical challenge. You can’t multitask otherwise you will get out of breath or lose count. So it is not like cutting carrots and meanwhile thinking about your ex-boyfriend who cheated on you with an obese stripper. Now comes the question, is this useful in the long term? The answer is, simply, it is not, but gives you a relatively instant relief instead. In the long term, one must do is to repeat over and over again that you are lucky, you have a wonderful life and everything is just going to resolve with time. Everything. Believe me. Time is the big deal. And that is not something that you can control. Even huge pain, everything. So if one worries or not from the point of view of the Time it is totally irrelevant. There has never ever been a time when there was no time. Like time stopping and being stuck in the same moment for like a year or two.
I also know that thinking that something will be anyway is not much of a relief because we don’t want the thing to just be. We want the thing to be our way. What we want. We even can get to hate people not wanting what we want, not doing what we think it should be done. We fear failure, we fear embarrassment. Embarrassment is a huge one, thinking about what others might think. But failing to see how hypocrite one is because we don’t care about others when that suits us, nevertheless, we would like them and the whole world to do so as we wish. It is egocentric, utopistic if not plain stupid.
Things are not going your way or rather things might in the future not go your way. So we get freaked out. What if? What will I do if… This couldn’t get worse. I can’t believe that this is happening to me. But it sure does. To all of us, just by mere fair chance. Einstein said, “God doesn’t play dice”. Well, I am far not to agree with Einstein. He seems a cool guy, but life seems to happen exactly as throwing dice. Some stuff comes out. Some stuff don’t. (while reading use the breathing technique…) and, yes, one may prepare for things but it is totally impossible to foresee everything. There is only one thing you can do. Keep breathing often with the 4-7-8 technique and speak to yourself. Keep repeating. Fake it till you make it! don’t expect to instantly feel better. Sometimes we must suffer, it is just the way it is. Breath. Count and talk to yourself. And most importantly, don’t victimize yourself. That is the most dangerous one. Victimization. Like you are one of the martyrs nailed to a cross, ready to die for the sake of a great cause. You are wounded, bleeding but still hang on... No. Stop that. There was Jesus, he did his thing, but he actually liked people. You just admit. You don’t even like people. Sometimes you even hate them. So you just simply can not be a martyr. But you can breathe, you can count – hopefully- and you can talk to yourself. Explain like to a 5-year old that your life I not just all bad. And lucky and good things happened to you. There is no famine, no death… and if there was a death, don’t worry, you will die too at some point.
And if nothing helps try thinking of your boss having silk stockings on his hairy leg or imagine him cutting potatoes for dinner and keep yourself busy. Don’t sit on the bed crying. Clean the house. Wash the dished. Or you say that you don’t need depression over anxiety? Why not, might be a good cocktail. If you get depressed at least you won’t give a shit. Getting angry, lethargic or whatever will shift the focus on something else and that is just what it is needed here. You have a whole palette of awesome disturbing feeling. Why stop at that boring anxiety? It is party time!!
I think I will just open a bottle of wine now...